God’s Plan For
Marriage
I. INTRODUCTION:
A.
As you consider your marriage, would you classify it
as a “classic love affair”?
a.
When we consider God’s Plan for Marriage, it is
clearly evident that God did design marriage to be a wonderful, life-long love
affair between one husband and one wife.
He has provided all the pleasures known to man in their normal, healthy,
satisfying form, and as the Creator of marriage and the Author of love, His
provision includes a love affair full of thrills and joy and lasting
satisfaction for every couple, not just a favored few.
b.
TRUTH #1: It is God’s will in every marriage that the
couple love each other with an absorbing spiritual, emotional, and physical
attraction that continues to grow throughout their lifetime together.
c.
TRUTH #2: It is possible for any Christian couple to
develop this love relationship in their marriage because it is in harmony with God’s express will.
i.
Because He is the One who made us, who conceived the
idea of marriage and ordained it for our blessing, who gave us the potential
for love, He is the One who knows best how to build love into marriage. He must be intimately involved in all our
efforts to develop the kind of marriage that pleases Him. As we follow His principles and put His
concepts into practice, we can begin to experience the marriage that He planned
for us from the beginning, filled with “the blaze of newness and the sweet
assurance of sameness” all our days.
The principles offered throughout this weekend are solid
biblical principles that will always work when applied properly to individual
problems.
God’s principles do not change!
The relationship you would like to have can happen, but not
by accident. An intimate relationship
seldom improves spontaneously, and a troubled relationship almost never gets
better on its own. I have no easy
overnight cures to offer you, no happiness pills to transform your marriage
automatically. But if you consistently
apply the truths of God’s Word as they relate to marriage, you are going to
learn how to love your spouse in such a way that there will be a responding
love from your partner. If you have a
good relationship now, it will become so much better that you will be thrilled
and amazed.
No matter how bad your marital situation seems to be , you and your spouse can fall in love with each other
all over again – or maybe for the first time.
If you’ve been wavering on the edge of a traumatic divorce, you can
rekindle your love. You can learn how to
handle the most difficult problems in such a way that your marriage will become
rooted in love – stabilized and strong enough to withstand the stresses of a
lifetime. Even if you are trying to save
your marriage all by yourself, without any cooperation from your partner, it
can happen! When they are properly and
consistently applied, there are no exceptions, no unique cases where God’s
eternal concepts will fail.
As we begin our look at God’s Plan for Marriage, we will
start in the very beginning – Genesis.
The first three chapters form the foundation for everything else in the
Bible concerning the important truth about men and women and their relationship
with God and with each other.
As we consider this topic of marriage, our purpose is to
understand marriage as God ordained it.
Because the world’s flawed view of marriage has so permeated our lives
and thinking, we need to look at these verses in Genesis as though we have
never seen them before – we need to look at them not as clichés but as truth
for our individual lives.
II. A SIX-FOLD PLAN
PLAN # 1: The idea of male and female was God’s idea.
“And God said, Let us
make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the
fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over
all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth
upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God
created he him; male and female created he them.” - Genesis 1:26-27
God made mankind to mirror His image.
God made them male and female for His own good purposes and
so that together they would reflect the image of God.
In a loving, amazing, creative act, the almighty God
conceived the wonderful mysteries of male and female, masculinity and
femininity, to bring joy into our lives.
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Think about how colorless and one dimensional our
world would be if there was only your gender!
-
The person who refuses to see and rejoice in the
fundamental differences between male and female never tastes the divine
goodness God planned for marriage.
PLAN # 2: Marriage was designed by God to meet the first problem of the human
race: loneliness.
“And the LORD God
said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I
will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed
every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air;
and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam
called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to
all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every
beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And
the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took
one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which
the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.” Genesis
2:18-22
Man was in the perfect environment, but alone. He had the fellowship of God and the company
of birds and animals. He had an
interesting job. But he was alone – and
God said (for the first time) that “it is not good that the man should be
alone.”
So – the wise and loving Creator provided a perfect solution
– He made
another creature, like the man, but yet wondrously unlike him.’
– She was
taken from him, yet she completed him
– She was
totally suitable for him – spiritually, emotionally, physically
– According
to God, she was designed to be his “helper”
o
Helper refers to a relationship where one person aids
or supports another person as a friend and ally. (Not as a subordinate or glorified servant!)
o
Psalm 46:1 “God is our refuge and strength, a
very present help in trouble.”
Marriage begins with a need that has been there since the
dawn of time – a need for companionship and completion that God
understands. Marriage was designed to
relieve the fundamental loneliness that every human experiences.
PLAN # 3: Marriage was planned and decreed to bring happiness, not misery.
“And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she
shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of
Here is the world’s first love song! Adam was expressing tremendous excitement, a
joyous astonishment.
“At last, I have someone
corresponding to me!” “I have finally
found the one who can complete me, who takes away my lonliness,
who will be as dear to me as my own flesh.
She is so beautiful! She is
perfectly suited to me. She is all I
ever need!”
All the tired jokes aside, marriage was designed for our
joy, our happiness. And God’s purpose
has never changed!
PLAN # 4: Marriage must begin with a leaving of all other relationships in
order to establish a permanent relationship between one man and one woman.
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his
wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:24
These 22 words sum up the entire teaching of Scripture on
marriage. All else that is said
emphasizes or amplifies the three fundamental principles originated here.
First of all, marriage begins with a leaving: leaving
all other relationships.
-
The closest relationship outside of marriage is
specified here, implying that if it is necessary to leave your father and
mother, then certainly all lesser ties must be broken, changed, or left behind.
-
A leaving must occur, for neither parents
nor any other relationships should come between husband and wife.
-
This means that you and your mate need to refocus
your lives on each other, rather than looking to another individual or group of
people to meet your emotional needs.
-
This also means giving other things a lesser priority
– your business, your career, your house, your hobbies, your talents, your
interests, and even to some degree your church work.
-
Unless you are willing to leave all else, you will
never develop the thrilling oneness of relationship that God intended for every
married couple to enjoy.
PLAN # 5: Marriage requires an inseparable joining of husband and wife
throughout their lifetime.
“Therefore shall a man
leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis
2:24
It is no use leaving unless you are ready to spend a
lifetime cleaving.
What does it mean to cleave?
To adhere, To stick, To be attached by some
strong tie. To cement
together. To be welded together
so that the two cannot separate without some damage to both.
The husband’s primary responsibility is to do everything
possible and to be all he should in order to form ties with his wife that will
make them inseparable. And the wife must
respond to her husband in the same manner.
They must be forged like steel in order to form a union that cannot be
severed.
Let’s look at how the Holy Spirit uses the word cleave in the
book of Deuteronomy:
-
Deuteronomy
-
Deuteronomy
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Deuteronomy 13:4 “Ye shall walk after the LORD your God, and fear him, and
keep his commandments, and obey his voice, and ye shall serve him, and cleave
unto him.”
-
Deuteronomy 30:20 “That thou mayest love the
LORD thy God, and that thou mayest obey his voice,
and that thou mayest cleave unto him: for he
is thy life, and the length of thy days: that thou mayest
dwell in the land which the LORD sware
unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them.”
From these passages, cleaving (in the eyes of God) means
wholehearted commitment, first of all spiritual, but spilling over into every
area of our being, so that the cleaving is also intellectual, emotional, and
physical.
Cleaving always involves two characteristics:
(1) an
unswerving loyalty
(2) an active,
pursuing love that will not let go
Remember, God’s plan for you
and your spouse is an inseparable union that you bring about as you obey His
commandment to cleave to each other.
PLAN # 6: Marriage means oneness in the fullest possible sense, including
intimate physical union without shame.
“Therefore shall a man
leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall
be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not
ashamed.” Genesis 2:24,25
The pattern for marriage that God established at Creation
will produce something quite remarkable if it is followed.
Two will actually become one!
For this to take place, marriage must be:
-
Monogamous (for two people only)
-
Heterosexual (God made one woman for one man)
Although it goes much deeper than physical union, becoming one flesh involves intimate physical union in sexual intercourse (and this without shame between marriage partners).
-
The biblical expression for sexual intercourse
between husband and wife is to know – an expression of profound dignity.
o
Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived…” (Gen 4:1)
o
Thus, in the divine pattern of marriage, sexual
intercourse between husband and wife includes both intimate physical knowledge
and a tender, intimate personal knowledge.
So the leaving, cleaving, and knowing each other results in
a new identity in which two individuals merge into one – one in mind, heart,
body, and spirit.
“For this cause shall a
man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they
two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ
and the church.” Ephesians
5:31-32
Here is the marriage design as ordained by God at the very beginning – a love relationship so deep, tender, pure, and intimate that it is patterned after that of Christ for His church. This is the foundation for the love-life you can experience in your own marriage, a foundation on which you can safely build.